I’m committing myself to write more

It’s been months (or years, if you really want me to be honest) that I am looking for the right design opportunity. Not The One, just a One will suffice. The Next One, one I hope I can say I’ll hold on for as long as possible, one I can be proud to talk about, one can brag about. “So what do you do?” I’ve always been very brief about my professions, “I work in specialty coffee”, “I’m a lead barista”, “I’m a graphic designer for a marketing agency”, “I’m a content analyst (whatever that means)”. I am bad at small talk, I may speak curtly but I do really want to talk further about my work to people, engage in the conversation, share my passion, my creative drive, and I want to feel professionally successful when talking about it. Though I don’t feel that way, yet.

I applied to so many job openings, hundreds, close to a thousand maybe? I stopped counting. Not much came my way, a few first interviews and a lot of rejection emails. From the interviews, I’ll remember the bad ones, the ones I knew I had to deny. I feel guilty saying no to a new opportunity when I’m not offered many chances, but my guts said it was the right decision. “It isn’t the one yet, probably more trouble than a step forward.” The rejections may hurt but they keep me wanting to step further, “you think I’m not a good match, let me prove you wrong”. I’ll work harder and refine my resumé, expand my network over and over, until I find this one opportunity.

I’m a creative individual without a creative job (a little lie, sometimes I am complete creative assignments as I’m the only one with a creative background). I feel a little stuck, my design battery is running low due to the lack of artistic drive from work and life. I try to motivate myself but there is so much you can do sometimes. Habits: always easier said than done.

Let’s try a new one here, now.

I am not creating much lately on the design and illustration fronts, it compels me to start writing more. I considered creating a new blog page to write about my life, the past, daily inner monologues, observations, but a lot of worries concern my career too (or the lack thereof). I’m committing myself to write more. This is a valid creative outlet for a designer, nobody said I could only draw, make or take pictures. I have a multidisciplinary creative background and should cultivate all routes. But here’s the thing, my professional life isn’t successful, it’s not Linkedin, I never landed a high-paying job, I always had to compromise my work with hiring managers and I know I’m just one in many who goes through a career like that. I shall write about the good and the bad without discrimination. I may be a reserved individual but I’ve always been brutally honest with my words. My supervisors love this side of me (I think), it’s efficient and productive, we’re talking business. Let’s talk business then!